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KekPafrany

The Lady of the Fernship
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Desaturated

1 min read
I'm sorry for all the inactvity.

I lost all my inspiration to draw, my motivation to improve, and I am out of tales to tell.

I'm still drawing sometimes but I never finish anything. I used to draw a lot when I am around people, when we chatted and chirped. But nowdays I find hard even to meet them, I am more of an introvert than ever.

Don't take it personally when I am not answering. I might be simply away from the site, or I feel to overwhelmed by it to express myself in words.

.:: KekPafrany ::.
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Annual report

1 min read
Hey there,

It was a long time since I wrote anything. No changes for the good. I'm kind of sick, so I have less time drawing in the night, since I am not allowed to stay up late, because I had to wake up early - as long as I am going to live. No improvement with depression either. And I haven't got any more mature in managing my life, I just got older.

I'm working on a commission, I'm just slow with all the mental ballast I have collected.

It could be more in the future, if I go unemployed, because I'm afraid it would be long-term one. Our great government plans some statewide bureaucracy cut back, I might be one of the thousands who get kicked out. My chances to find something when thousands of others with similar skillset get to the job-market? Well, you can guess...
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Nowdays I do a ton of sketch, but none of them make it to the scanner. I jujde them strictly and put them away (they made nice and chaotic piles in my home). I am missing something, some inspiration or aim. I had  ideas, but that was never enough for a picture.

I have my home, registered to my name (hurray) it needs some renovation, some more renovation and you wouldn't guess this but some more renovation. But who has the energy for that? Not me, I'm sure. Overtime is still an everyday thing where I work.
One of the few good things that my workplace moved and my new office is full of windows and glass, so at least I don't work in the darkness.

But I still wish for a good sleep.
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I would like to draw with ink, but my technical pen got seriously ill: it bleeds from everywhere. I can't buy a new tip for it, Faber-Castell stopped manufacturing them. I find a little too expensive to buy a whole new one, maybe later, after we finished upgrading the new home.

After longterm fight with the local government, they sold it to us, only they haven't been able to administrate it yet. They always make some errors to sit on the papers for some more months. Everything about vogons is true, only with one difference: they are living in our planet, doing bureaucracy for (or against) us. I receive every mail with a "maybe now? maybe now!" thought, but I always get disappointed.
I work in an agricultural agency, I can't imagine how can the local government get away with all the mistakes they have been making. We would get our heads bitten of for the one third of their failures!

The next one and half months will be hard, we are going to get a new system for administration. So less drawing time for me. I'm working on small models for our RPG characters. They have both sides drawn, cut them out from paper. I will upload some of them later.

I like this month, the weather is beautiful: I can smell the scent of the rain and flowers, I walk home, wondering how blue the sky, watching the clouds, enjoying the rain mixed with sunshine. I wish I could be more free.
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I'm sorry for being inactive and for not answering. My work hadn't got easier since I got my new assignment in winter, and I still can't find the time and motivation to draw.
But hurray, I have a job, I hope I can stay there, and with time I will get rid of my currently dominating two moods: the whimpering phase and the depression.

Plans.. plans all I have. Plans to finish some old art, plans to finish some newer art. Plans to progressing in it. First: I uploaded some sketches :) It's a start.
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